Funny Ataram Satram Jokes

Atram: to rikshawala : Are o bhai khali ho kya
Rikshawala: Haan bilkul khali hoon
Atram: Aao Chalo Phir Tash khelte hain..


Atram:-Teri Sabse Badi Takat Kya Hai?
Satram:-Meri Patni

Atram:-Sabse Badi Kamzori ??
Satram:-Dusro Ki Patni.

Atram: I’m a proud father.
My son is in medical college.
Satram:: What’s he studying?"
Atram: He's not studying,
they are studying him!



Atram: Yaar aaj to 1 Rs.
me 3 amrood mil gye.
Satram:: Wo kaise?
Atram: 1 Rs. ka 1 usne dia,
1 mai utha k bhag gya,
or 1 usne muje fek ke mara...



Girl to Satram: Kya shaadi k baad bi
tum muje itna pyar karoge?
Satram: Kyon nahin? Mein to diwana
hoon shadi-shuda aurton ka.

Atram dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Atram: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Atram: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha,
yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya.



Atram College Ki Ladki se Bola
I love U!
Ab Tum Mujhe Bolo
Girl:Mai Abhi Ja K sir Ko Bolti Hu!
Atram: pagli sir Ko Mt Bol Unki Shadi Ho Gai Hai.



Shadi ki raat Atram apni Biwi k
liye Gulab ka Phool le kar Aaya

Biwi:Mujhe ye nahi chahiye,
koi SONAY ki Cheez do

Atram:Ye lo Takiya aur SO Jao.



Atram: Yaar ab tu mujhe SMS kyu nahi karta?
Satram: Petrol mehnga ho gaya hy.
Atram: Petrol & SMS?
Satram: Paisa load karvane k lye ghar
se 10 km Dur bike pr jana prta hy.

Atram: Yar muje Major Rohail ne
social work krne Pr bohat mara.

Batna: Social Work?

Atram: Han, me ne qabristan k gate
pr Welcome ka board lagaya tha.



Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Atram: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Atram: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Atram: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?



Atram fouj me bharti hua....
2 Din bad jung shru ho gaiii.....
Atram ki topi per goli lagi....
Atram ne hathyaar phenk diye
aur chup kar bola ..
Aqalmand ke liye ishara kafi hota hai...



Shaadi mein khana khula...
Atram ko plate nahi mili..
Atram apni jholi mein khana dalne laga..
Logon ne poocha Ye Kya..
Atram: Daagh To Chala Jaye Ga...
Ye Waqt Phir Nahi Aaye Ga...

Atram- bhai jaldi jao tumhare ghar
mein pani ghus gaya hai.

Satram- Kyun jhuth bolta hai,
ghar mein pani kaise ghus sakta hai,
ghar ki chabi jo mere pass hai.



Atram saw a beautiful gal...
he went and smooched her.
Gal - What are you doing?
Atram: Law, 4th semester from Punjab University.



Judge: Tum ne ye Car chori ki?

Atram: Janab, Car qabrastan
mein khari thi..

Mein samjha ke is ky Maalik ka
inteqal ho gaya hai..



Admi:Atram aap ka aik dant blue Q hai?
Atram:Yaar main ne ink lagayi hoyi hai,
Admi:Hain! Wo Q ji
Atram: oye khoty "bluetooth" da zamana hai.



Atram to Satram: Yaar Tumhary Bewi shehar(city)
ke hai ya pind(village) ki..
Satram: Pind ki.
Atram:ooh acha . main samja shayed Tumhary hai.

Atram-yar Satram apne India me sabhi
kutte kamjor q hote hai?
Satram:kyuki sab kutto ka khun 2
DHARAMENDER Pee jata hai.



A man to his friend-main apna purse ghar pe
bhul aaya mujhe 1000 rs ki zarurat hai
Satram-dost hi dost ke kam atta hai ye
le 10 rs riksha kar ke purse le aa.



Atram: yaar I Notice a very Impotant thing
Satram: Wht is that?
Atram: Jab railway Fatak Band hota hai
Tab TabTRain Jarur aati hai.



Atram ke yaha tisri bar ladki hui
To usne elan kia ki BETA hua hai.
Ek dost ne dekha to kaha- yeto ladki hai.
Atram:Munda niche se maa par gaya hai.

Atram! Ik sawal ka jawab to do,

WO konsi ungli hay jis mein haddi nahi hoti?

Pathan! Nahi pata?

Atram! Dastaney ki...

Atram CIGRATE P raha tha
Lady-tmhare Maa-Baap ko pata
he ki tum cigrate pite ho?
Atram-Kya Apke Husband ko PATA He ki
Aap AJNABI Se baat karti ho.



Atram cycle pe faqeer k pas se guzra..
Faqeer ne kaha ALLAH k nam pe kuch dy do!
Atram cycle rokte hue,
chal peeche beth tujhe jhulay doon...



Satram-Tere Ghar Se Hamesa Hasne Ki Awaz Aati Hai,
Khusi Ka Raaz Kya Hai?
Atram-Meri Biwi Muje Jute Marti Hai,
Lag Jaye To Wo Hasti Hai,Nahi Lage To M Hasta hu.



Teacher: story sunao with moral.
Atram: 1din hm un k gar gye to wo soye huye the,
1 din wo hmare ghar aye to hum soye huye the.
Moral: Jaisi karni, waisi bharni.



Satram: tujhe apna laptop
bada karwana hai..?

Atram: Haan yaar..

Satram: to fir Isme se
window nikalwa ke darvaja fit karva le..



Phone Ki Ganti Baji.
Atram : Phone Mere Liye Ho To Kehna Mein Ghar Pe Nahin Hoon.
Jasmeet: Wo Ghar Pe Hain.
Atram : Maine Mana Kiya Tha Ke…
Jasmeet: Phone Mere Liye Tha!

Satram ped pe chada to upar baithey Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya? Satram: Apple khane. Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai. Satram: Pata hai, Apple saath laya



Judge to Atram: Kya aap Talak chahate ho?
Atram: Yes! Me apni wife me satisfied nhi hun.
Kya yah sahi? judge ne kha
Atram's wife: pura muhalla khush hai bas is kaminay ko he takleef hai.



Atram's wife: suniye G aap ka dost galat ladki se shaadi kar raha hai.
aap usse rokte kyon nahi?
Atram : main kyon rokon? us ne mujhe roka tha kiya.

Atram ki new marriage hui thi, Suhagraat ki subha Atram ne dulhan(Apni BB) se pocha,
kaisa mehsos kar rahi ho?
Dulhan: kiya bbataon
aap ne to college k dino ki yaad taza kar di



Atram apni wife ka janaza le jaa raha tha.
janaze k aage ek kutta aur peche aadmiyon ki lambi line thi,
ek aadmi aakar pochta hai : bhai sahab ye sab kaise hua?
Atram : is kutte ne kaat liya tha.
Aadmi : ye kutta ek din k liye udhar main de do.
Atram : peche line main lago.

Atram: Yadi me kal mar jaon to tum shadi karogi?
Wife: No, me apni sister ke sath rh lungi.
Wife: Yadi me mar jaon to tum shadi karoge.
Atram : No, me bhi aapki sister ke sath rh lunga.



Principal to Atram: agar koi ladka girls hostel mai gaya
to first time 100 Rs fine hoga, 2nd time 200 fine
& 3rd time 500.
Atram: Sir, membership kitnay ki hogi?



Atram' Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Atram: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye,
Jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!



Atram : suit bara sohna paya ay
wife : thx g
Atram : lipstick bhi sohni lagai ay
wife : thx g
Atram : Makeup vi sohna kitta ay
wife : thx g
Atram : sohni fir vi nahi lagdi



Atram's Wife: kaash main newspaper hoti din bhar tumhare
hathon me rehti
Atram: meri bhi yahi dua hai rab se issi bahane her din
nayi nayi to milti.

Atram asked his newly married wife,
she had any boyfriend before marriage?
wife: silent
Atram said, main is khamoshi ko kiya samjhon?
wife replied: Kamine! ginay to do.



wife to Atram: janu meri shirt utaro..
ab aisa karo mera trouser bhi utaro.
aur khabardar jo aaj k baad mere kapre pehne to.



Atram:Ajj ghar jate hi me apni
Bibi ke kapde utar dunga.
Satram: Oye! Aaj bahut mud me hai.
Atram: Nhi yaar, Mujhe tiet hote hai.

Atram :-Yar mujhe apni Girl friend ko gift dena hai.
Satram :- To Use gold Ring De De Na.
Atram :- Nahi yaar aisi chese batao Jo usne abhi bhi nhi pahni ho.
Satram :-Gents KACHHA de de...!

Satram :-Tere Ghar Se Hamesa Hasne Ki Awaz Aati Hai,
Khusi Ka Raaz Kya Hai?
Atram :-Meri Biwi Muje Jute Marti Hai,
Lag Jaye To Wo Hasti Hai,Nahi Lage To M Hasta hu.



Satram :: tujhe apna laptop
bada karwana hai..?
Atram :: Haan yaar..
Satram :: to fir Isme se Window nikla de or Darwaja fit karva de.



Atram:- Angur bech rha tha or Aallu Aallu chilla rha tha.
Satram:- Bhai ye to Angur hai or tum aallu bol rhe ho.....
Atram:- Chup! makhinya Aa Jayengi..

Atram Ek din wishky pee rha tha.
Atram apni wife ko:- chal pee esko (wishky)
Wife: Chhi kitni kadubi hai.
Atram : Or tu kya samajhti hai me roj es karta hun.



Atram : Chemist ki shop par jata hai
Chemist: Kya dekh rhe ho bhai!
Atrama: Kya aap ke pass Gore (white) hone wali creem hai.
Chemist: Han! Yes.
Atram : To aap lagate (use) kyon nhi.
Chemist: kyon!
Atram : Kyon kya aap etne kale (black) ki jab me aap ke shop par aata hun me dar jata hun.

Atram Ek hotel me apne Bete ke Sath jata hai:-
Atram Vetor ko: 1 Thandi Beer or 1 Ice creem lana
Vator: Ok sir Ji abhi laya
Atram ka beta: Ice Creem kyon PaPa? AAp bhi beer lejiye na.



Atram ek Parti me kaphi der tak kha rha tha.
Satram: Yaar Kab tak Khayega?
Atram: Yaar me to kha kha ke pareshan ho gya hun, Par card me likha tha ki Diner 7:00 to 10:00 tak hai